Jesus is full of mercy and grace, especially toward those devastated by an unfaithful spouse. Psalm 86:15 says, “But You, O Lord, are a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering and abundant in mercy and truth.”
One reason for His abundant compassion and grace is that Jesus understands how extremely violating and painful infidelity is and how difficult it is for spouses to overcome. At its core, adultery rips apart the fabric of trust that once existed in their relationship.
Infidelity is inexcusable regardless of circumstances. However, Jesus’ ultimate desire is for the cheating spouse to repent and for the violated spouse to forgive them so they can work toward rebuilding their marriage and trust. However, several factors must be present for reconciliation.
First, the adulterer or adulteress must consistently demonstrate their professed repentance through their words and actions over an extended period. Visible repentance will help rebuild their spouse’s trust and facilitate forgiveness and healing.
Additionally, with Jesus’ grace and intervention, both spouses should make every effort to work through the devastation caused by the adultery and affair-proof their marriage for the future.
However, if genuine repentance is absent or the damage is too severe for the violated spouse to overcome, God lovingly and graciously provides an allowance for divorce, in such cases, as a last resort. This act releases the violated spouse from their marriage covenant and renders them free to remarry without committing adultery themselves (see Matthew 5:31-32 and 19:8-9).
Nonetheless, when a divorce results from infidelity because genuine repentance was absent or the devastation was too severe to overcome, the violated spouse should still strive toward forgiving their ex-spouse from their heart to keep bitterness and resentment from becoming permanent residents. As it has been well said, “Harboring unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping your enemy will die.”
I hope this information helps answer the question of divorce in cases of adultery.
