When God created marriage, He intended and declared it a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman until death. Divorce was never His plan or will because it tears apart those He joined as “one flesh.” For this reason and more, God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). Therefore, His heart is always for couples to work through their problems diligently and keep the marriage intact.
However, there are two occasions when God lovingly allows for divorce: abandonment and adultery. Divorce is never commanded or required by God in these instances but permitted when all attempts to reconcile fail. Aside from these explicit situations, there are no biblical provisions for divorce.*
When a Christian has been abandoned by their unsaved spouse, and all attempts at reconciliation have been unsuccessful, the believer is no longer bound to their marriage covenant. If no longer bound, they are free to divorce and remarry as long as their new spouse is a fellow believer.
When adultery has been committed, God’s heart is for the offender to repent and the violated spouse to forgive them so Jesus can ultimately restore the marriage covenant. If the adulterer or adulteress lacks genuine repentance, or the damage is too severe for the violated spouse to overcome, God graciously provided an allowance for divorce as a last resort. This biblical divorce releases the violated spouse from their marriage covenant, rendering them free to remarry without committing adultery themselves.
If spouses divorce for any other reason, they sin. Furthermore, a legally obtained divorce does not dissolve a marriage before God because matrimony is a lifetime covenant. For this reason, God requires divorced individuals to reconcile with their spouses or remain “unmarried.” He does not allow remarriage in these instances because that would constitute an adulterous relationship.
It is important to note that God’s grace and forgiveness are available and sufficient to cleanse any believer from an unbiblical divorce or remarriage, should they humble themselves and repent. Repenting means “to change one’s mind.” Therefore, in the context of unbiblical divorce and remarriage, believers must acknowledge before God that divorcing and remarrying was sinful and ask Him for forgiveness.
When true repentance is present, Jesus grants absolute forgiveness and cleansing from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). However, His grace should never be viewed as permission to “sin now and repent later” but as a means to free believers from condemnation once they recognize their sin and confess it.
(See the Scripture References link at the top of the page.)
*When a spouse or child's safety is in jeopardy, marital separation and a restraining order may be required until appropriate help, intervention, treatment, and restoration are attained. If abuse is occurring, contact law enforcement or the National Domestic Violence Hotline immediately.
